Dear Amanda [3/13/12]


Perfect timing! I just finished writing (longhand) the plot outline for my story involving you and I. I’m sure I’ll edit a few things here and there, but basically it means I’m throwing out almost everything I had written before and shown you and basically just becoming something else entirely with only a few things remaining the same. The subject of this email is a working title in my head, what do you think? It’s a lyric but I don’t care. I’m excited about this and kind off kilter feeling, I think I’ll drink some vodka. It’s never been a drink for me but I think it goes right with the characters I’m trying to create. It’s strange, but I feel like I’ve got a great polished stone coming out of this, I’m excited to show you progress, when it appears. I’m spending a lot of time alone in my office, writing, writing, writing on my laptop, scribbling notes here and there, cutting images out of magazines, just building building in my head. I don’t know, maybe it’s in the stars to come out soon. I’m fighting with my boyfriend a lot. Annoying. He finds me burdensome and I don’t care because I think he’s a lazy shit who’s never had to pay for anything in his life.
Anyway. I did my taxes a few days ago — with pen and paper and calculator and put a stamp on the envelope and mailed it off to the IRS and I was greeted with the shock that when I was 16, this is what I imagined myself doing at 22, 25. Sitting alone at my desk, in the middle of a writing project, doing my taxes, broke and in the Deep South. This realization really made me feel something Amanda, it really did. I was giddy that I had not let myself down, even with such mediocre expectations. Does that make any sense? I don’t know. It’s the candy of spring and neutrals everywhere.  I feel vindicated in all this time I’ve been writing fan fiction, like some sort of exercise. AGH I’M SO EXCITED. I’m sorry, I’ll get working on it as soon as possible and send you some sort of update as soon as I’ve got something worth looking at.
Love and miss you and all that,

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